The "Sexually Provocative" Singer Rihanna Performs At The NBA All-Star Half Time Show And Breaks Michael Jackson's "Crotch Grabbing" Record

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 21 February 2011


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LOS ANGELES - Rihanna who performed at the 60th Annual NBA Basketball All-Star Game half time extravaganza came pretty close to turning her performance into a nationally televised erotic sexploitation.

The singer came out wearing a black suit coat over a very tiny pair of skintight shorts. About eight measures into her first song she removed her coat and was left wearing a very small white blouse.

And as the stunningly sexy red haired beauty danced and pranced on the stage every males eyes between the ages of nine and ninety-nine were glued on the bombshell beauty from Barbados.

Watching her amazing body it was hard to figure out how in the world her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown could have even remotely thought about beating that deliciously beautiful female specimen.

The word on the street is that Chris is now dating a woman who looks like Rosie O'Donnell except that she's black, much much fatter, and with a lot more body hair than "Jack-O-Lantern" O'Donnell.

During her song set Rihanna performed her hit songs "Disturbia From Suburbia," "What's My Name You Friggin Bling Bling Wearing Bro?" "S&M, M&M's," and "Hey Yo, Put Da Damn Umbrella Down, Shut Da Eff Up, And Drive Sumwhere And Buy Me Sumtin Pretty."

The 23-year-old Rihanna must have forgotten that she was performing in front of a live audience and home viewers made up of families with young children and elderly grandparents because all throughout her performance she kept grabbing at her crotch like a lot of male hip hop rappers do.

In fact, after the performance Charles Barkley of the TNT Network, who televised the game remarked that Miss Rihanna had most probably broken Michael Jackson's 'crotch grabbing' record.

The network as well as the FCC have stated that they will both be looking into the matter. An unnamed inside source stated that Rihanna could be fined as much as $2,000 per each crotch grabbing incident, which could end up going as high as $26,000.

Rihanna remarked that the reason she was grabbing her groin so much was because she'd had a Brazilian Bikini Wax job done about two weeks ago and the little pubic hairs were starting to itch something awful.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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