Land Of Oz News Latest: Wicked Witch Of The West To Sue Over Sister's Death

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Sunday, 19 December 2010

image for Land Of Oz News Latest: Wicked Witch Of The West To Sue Over Sister's Death
The Wicked Witch Of The East, after graduating Witch College in 1982.

The Wicked Witch Of The West has sensationally said she is to sue Dorothy for landing a house on her sister, the Wicked Witch Of The East.

Dorothy touched down in the Land Of Oz, and parked her 175 tonne house right on top of the hapless Witch, who was being exceptionally rude to a Munchkin at the time.

Ms. East had been terrorising Munchkin Land for over three decades. Often seen out in the rolling countryside hitting badgers with a stick, or turning hedgehogs inside out, East was known locally as 'the bitch', but strictly behind her back for fear of reprisals.

Nationally hated and feared by all creatures under 4 foot tall, the green skinned, pointy hatted spell binder hit headlines three years ago when she turned the Tin Man in to a roasting tray, and used Scarecrow's insides as bedding for her pet rabbit, Bugs.

Ms. West, half sister to East, from a different father, spoke to us about her anger at the circumstances surrounding the death of her sibling.

"Well, my pretty, my sister was only doing what she did best," she told us, "I remember growing up with her, she was always torturing things, birds, bugs, you name it! But she never deserved a house on top of her. And after that horrid Dorothy creature parked her four bedroom'd detached farmstead right on top of her, she had the front to even steal her new shoes, right off of her cold dead feet! That little brat will get what's coming, mark my words!" she cackled, and disappeared in a plume of red smoke.

Representatives from Claims Direct would not comment on this specific case, but a spokesperson told us "we would advise anyone who has lost a loved one, through the thoughtless actions and blatant disregard for safety of another individual, to seek compensation. After all, where there's blame, there's a claim! And, as an added advantage with using us, it's no win, no fee! So what's to lose?"

"We certainly feel that it would be wrong for our society to deem it okay to put a house on someone, and walk away blame free!" they continued. "The shoe theft accusation would be more a matter for the police, though," they finished.

Ms. East is to be buried in a very shallow grave, without her shoes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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