Microsoft Agrees to Settlement with Chevron

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

image for Microsoft Agrees to Settlement with Chevron
Bush, in the act of adding a Chevron to a presentation.

Following five years of legal negotiations between Chevron and Microsoft Corporation, the lawsuit involving Chevron logo and trademark infringement by Microsoft has been settled for an undisclosed amount.

Available as a graphical image in most all of its office software products, the "Chevron" as it had become commonly known, was pervasive throughout the business world and found in literally millions of documents, presentations, and process flow charts. Looking something like a bulky 'greater than' sign, the Chevron logo was the standard in showing progressive steps in almost any plan. "And it was quite literally taken without permission", says one of Chevron's lawyers, Anita Rogering.

Microsoft's attorneys admitted that the software giant had simply assumed that the six sided 'fat > arrow', was a standard geometric shape and did not represent unauthorized use of Chevron's intellectual capital. "It is a basic shape and Microsoft has always referred to it as a Fat Arrow. The fact that the public simply chose to call it something else is not our problem. In fact if you drew a line across the bottom of the point, you'd have a pentagon", said the misdirecting Microsoft attorney, Bo Vyneskat.

"The fact is that millions were spent in developing that logo, as simple as it might look. Now, damnit, everybody refers to Chevrons in power point presentations and flow charts as if Microsoft had invented the thing", commented an angry Rogering. "Clearly Microsoft is in the wrong here or there wouldn't have been a settlement".

Complete terms of the agreement are unavailable but insiders at Chevron indicate that Microsoft will also have to engage in an expensive product update and communication campaign to propagate the shape's name change officially to "Fat Arrow".

In a related story, Target Stores have initiated a 'cease and desist' order against Microsoft for their use of a circle within a circle image in their office products as well, claiming that they are commonly referred to as 'Targets'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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