Willie Nelson Popped by Border Patrol for Pot Possession

Funny story written by Charpa93

Sunday, 28 November 2010

image for Willie Nelson Popped by Border Patrol for Pot Possession
Willie Nelson's new hit single "Runnin' from the Po-Po in Laredo"

Willie Nelson's band wagon was pulled over today at a Border Patrol and Nelson and 2 others were arrested for possession of six ounces of marijuana. Border Patrol agents were initially looking for illegal aliens when they spotted Nelson's unmarked tour bus. Thinking it was probably full of lawbreakers, the agents were surprised upon finding a stoned Nelson and others inside.

Nelson was said to have told the agents that the marijuana in his possession was medicinal in nature, and that he took it to fight the pain of a torn rotator cuff he suffered from years and years playing honkey-tonk guitar.

When the officers asked Nelson to produce a medicinal marijuana card, he showed them his musician's guild card instead and was instantly arrested. "Damn," said Nelson, "don't the po-po realize we musicians have paid enough dues and should just be allowed to do whatever the hell we want as long as we ain't hurtin' nobody?"

Nelson received an additional citation for trying to bribe the officers by offering to hand over his driver, who was Guatemalan, and his percussion guy, who was Brazilian, to them in exchange for dropping the drug charges, but they declined. Both men, however, were asked to show their green cards. Nelson was then taken into custody and booked into a West Texas jail on $2,500 bond, which he posted immediately.

This is the second time officially that Nelson has found himself on the business end of the long arm of the law, making it painfully obvious that he has not learned his lesson. However, his spokesperson would disagree. "Willie has come a long way since his arrest in 2006 for marijuana possession. Back then, he was found with a pound and a half of the substance. At least now, he has the sense to carry a lot less on his bus, and just makes more frequent stops while on the road. Just as sailors are said to have a woman in every port, Willie has a pot dealer in every small town from Baja, California to Bangor, Maine."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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