Florida Man Arrested for Butt Crack Cocaine

Funny story written by Charpa93

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

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A Southwest Florida man was arrested in the wee hours of Sunday morning in what police say has to be one of the most literal cases of crack cocaine possession to go down in Florida law enforcement history.

Donald "Dookey" Hutchins was caught speeding in a residential area when spotted by police, who gave chase. Upon stopping, Dookey was asked to step out of the car and when he did so, the man's over-sized shorts fell to his ankles, revealing several baggies protruding from the crack in the man's butt.

In all, 27 small baggies of rock cocaine, as well as two larger baggies containing pot were retrieved from the man's bum.

Officer Candy Ewie claims in all her 14 years on the police force, this was the first time she actually felt sorry for the users who apparently have Hutchins as a dealer. "Can you imagine? We're talking real crack cocaine, the real deal. Ewww. Talk about smoking a fattie."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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