Susan Boyle 'sexed up' in new Album

Funny story written by Marty

Monday, 22 November 2010

image for Susan Boyle 'sexed up' in new Album
Boyle's new image is a radical departure

Susan Boyle's follow up Album to her runaway debut success, 'I dreamed a dream' was released in Los Angles last night to huge controversy.

With millions of sales behind her, expectation was high, but she has dumbfounded critics with the release of 'The Gift'.

Boyle has recruited mix master 'Red One' of Lady Gaga fame to co produce the album's first two tracks, 'I want it' and 'Stick it to ya'. Both are new terror ties for Boyle, heavy rap pieces with a metallic guitar rift. This album fixes several music styles, and has certainly caused a sensation in the music press. Hand in hand with this explosive new direction for Boyle, has been her total revamp of her image.

The album was launched yesterday to media frenzy at the W in Los Angles, where Boyle appeared, naked all bar three tiny Tiffany boxes covering sensitive areas, attached to her body with leather bonds. The audience, which included Lady Gaga and Rihanna, were aghast.

Lady Gaga commented, 'I didn't know how I was even invited, then the show began and I thought, wow, this music really rocks and Boyle is killing it.'

Track five, 'Kiss my assssss' was performed with co-producer of the track, Jay-Z. He reported to Billboard magazine later, 'When Susan's people contacted me, I was like, yeah, let's mix up and see what happens. I glad I took up the offer, she's great to work with, and not afraid to take risks; that's all rock and roll is..'

Boyle performed the raunchy duet that fuses street jazz with a pop piano rift against a rolling New York dope beat in one of her five costume changes of the night; in this case, a PVC Nuns Habit, that appeared to have lost its lower half. Boyle has been following a strict LA diet of raw veg and four hour personal body workouts and it's paid off, she is literally half the woman she was that appeared on Britain's got Talent, the show that hurtled her to fame.

Since the release, Boyle has been rumoured to be appearing on next month's Rolling Stone cover and Elle have contacted her for a shoot for the Christmas issue.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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