Written by Charpa93

Monday, 22 November 2010

image for Kate Gosselin Exclusive! Seen at Gym With Rug Burns on Knees

While Kate Gosselin continues to claim that there is no man in her life, several signs indicate that may not be true. A reported bounty has been offered for any person who can get an exclusive story on the man who caused the rug burns witnessed on Kate's knees by a local gym employee last week.

Kylie Smith claims that Kate showed up for her usual workout wearing sweats, which was highly unusual.

"Kate usually wears very skimpy workout shorts and tank tops because she has said more than once, "if you got it, flaunt it," said Kylie. "I thought something weird was going on so I followed Kate into the locker rooms. As she changed from her sweats into a towel wrap to go into the showers, I noticed two very red burn spots, one on each knee. I tried to see what her elbows looked like but she was facing me and it was impossible. But I was sure about the knees. That's when it hit me," said Kylie, "those are freakin' rug burns, and to my knowledge, there aren't too many ways except one that can cause that kind of scrape."

To be fair, Kate is a fanatic when it comes to cleaning and she could have gotten the rug burns from scrubbing the living room carpet. Lord knows what her kids spill on it on a daily basis. But it is a known fact that she has people who do that for her now. Even if it was from scrubbing the carpets, she'd have had to scrub the carpets with her knees to get that much traction to cause the kind of rug burns that were witnessed by Ms. Smith.

Reporters have followed Kate around for days trying to get a clear answer as to how she injured her knees, but so far, she just won't budge, claiming the woman at the gym obviously needs glasses. She did have this comment, "Yeah, guys, I've been busy doing the humpty-dumpty on the living room carpet with some guy while my whole life is falling to pieces. Get a life you jerks."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Kate Gosselin

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