Celine Dion Releases Twins Into Wild

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Saturday, 30 October 2010

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Doctors and nature preserverists have confirmed that Celine Dion's newborn twins boys, Damian and Beezelbub, have been released into a Long Island, NY nature preserve.

"This breed does not thrive in captivity," said David Kessler of the Environmental Protection Agency. "And, given the age of the father and mother (83 and 67, respectively), they will have a much better chance in the wild, where they should be.

Both twins had have a GPS tracking device implanted in one of their hind legs, allowing researchers to track their movements. They believe that this data will give scientists insight into how the twins were conceived and delivered.

"These twins were the first Dion live births ever recorded," commented the EPA's Nurse Alex Price. "Until now, we thought Celene Dion laid eggs that, once hatched, were kept in a mucous-lined, marsupial-like pouch on Celine's lower torso."

"We really do have a lot to learn."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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