The apocalypse is now one hideous step closer to kicking off 1000 years of Satanic rule, now that revolting pop warbler Celene Dion has given birth to the AntiChrist, and its brother, Keith.
"The Archbishop of Wales has announced that Ms. Dion issued the Leader of end times, who fulfills the Biblical prophesy of Christ's adversary, while resembling him in a deceptive manner." says a statement from the Vatican.
One boy was 5 pounds, 4 ounces, the other was 5 pounds, 10 ounces, born with a complete set of fang-like teeth, fingernails dripping in blood, and the souls of a million dead Christians in his vicelike grip
"I am proud to be the world's richest mother," said Dion, 71, who with her husband, Réénéé Aéngéléé, held one of the babies in her paws for cameras. "And I apologize in advance, both for my child eventually growing up to battle the Lord Jesus Christ, and for all of the sh-tty albums I'll release in the future."