Written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 11 September 2010

image for Amy Winehouse Texts Supportive Message To Wayne Rooney - Jesse James Asks: "Who The F*ck Is Wayne Rooney Anyway?"
Lydia The Tattooed Lady Declined To Comment

Reports coming in are suggesting that occasionally bedraggled diva, Amy Winehouse has sent a text message of support to Wayne Rooney as the Manchester United and England striker's troubles show no sign of abating.

At this point, it isn't clear exactly what Winehouse texted to the beleagured, alleged whore-monger, nor is it clear whether Rooney received the text in question, as nobody appears to be saying anything about it.

A man claiming to be a Winehouse insider told Skoob Entertainment News showbiz supremo Buffty Ginslinger (for once enjoying a day of relative lucidity):

"It's the tattoos man. Amy's got tattoos, and Wayne's got tattoos. It's a tattoo thing man. You know what I mean. They share a common bond and that. With the tattoos. So she's kind of bound to sympathise with him. Because of the tattoos. It's only natural that she'd wanna tell him to hang in there. I don't know, like, erm, exactly what she did text, but I'm told she did send a text this morning. So I'm kinda like, working on the assumption that it was probably addressed to Wayne Rooney. Because of the tattoos. Like."

Heavily tattooed US TV biker dude who once allegedly cheated on the lovely Sandra Bullock, Jesse James, told our Hollywood reporter:

"Yeah, I have tattoos, and I've heard of the Whitehouse woman, but who the fuck is Wayne Rooney? And what the hell does all this have to do with tattoos anyway? I hope you aren't implying that I'm gay or something...Get outa my fricking house you ass hole!"

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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