Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 11 September 2010


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image for Gazza is Roo's DNA Pa say Salford slapper sources
Gazza own goal circa 1985 is responsible

Manchester - (Gonads): "Always thought there was something congenital about the two," the Salford Slappers Escort Agency commented today.

The hooker bureau has claimed 57-times capped England midfielder Paul Gascoigne's own goal spawned Man U striker Wayne Rooney.

A startling wedding tackle birthmark first identified the father-son link after veteran escort Lucy Leech spotted the identical bull's horns beauty spot.

Then the facial resemblance and awesome left leg booting power became apparent as young Roo began to scale the dizzying heights of Premiership stardom.

So far though none of Gazza's wacky mental defects has shown up in Wayne Rooney.

This week's sordid sex revelations are considered pretty much par for the course for Premiership players and not some inherited trait.

Meanwhile in Chateau Rooney the atmosphere remains grim and bear it.

Wife Coleen's plea for privacy was given a boost today as red top reporters shied away from the couple's mansion to continue trailing Mancunian vice girls' $$$s spending splurges.

Wayne Bridge is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Wayne Rooney

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