The Jersey Shore's "Snooki" Fined $500 For Tossing Pizza Slices At Unsuspecting Seagulls

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

image for The Jersey Shore's "Snooki" Fined $500 For Tossing Pizza Slices At Unsuspecting Seagulls
A photo taken by a beachgoer of some of the seagulls that Snooki threw pizza slices at.

SEASIDE HEIGHTS, New Jersey - The Jersey Shore's cast member known as "Snooki" has been fined $500 for throwing pizza slices at unsuspecting seagulls.

The Jersey Shore's pint-sized actress, whose real name is Nicole Polizzi, told Seaside Heights police that she had no idea that throwing pizza slices at seagulls was against the law.

She added that she really did not hit any of the seagulls and they actually loved the fact that someone was feeding them something other than the same old boring Fritos, M&M's, pork chops, and Cheetos.

Miss Polizzi was also charged with disturbing the peace as she was singing Italian songs by Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Tony Bennett at the top of her lungs.

One of the beachgoers who heard Polizzi sing said that for a second she thought that she was at one of the American Idol early on auditions because she truly sounded as if she was a cat who'd had her tail stepped on by Wynonna Judd.

Another beachgoer stated that Polizzi kept saying that she was the world famous "Snooki" and that she could say or do whatever the eff she wanted to because she had become more famous than Katie Couric, Ann Coulter, and Betty White all put together.

As the little 4 foot 9 inch, 80 pounder was being led away she managed to slip out of the handcuffs. One of the officers asked her is she was trying to be funny. Snooki, who is not exactly the brightest crayola in the crayon box, replied that she was actually trying to escape.

SIDENOTE: Snooki has repeatedly denied that contrary to the commonly held belief, since she is only 4 foot 9, that she is not descended from a Pygmy African tribe.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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