In a quite startling news story today, Alex Reid, husband of Katie Price aka Jordan, has reportedly discovered six Chilean miners inside his wife's vagina.
A spokesman for the San Antonio Metal Mining Company confirmed that six of their employees disappeared in mysterious circumstances in August 2007, whilst investigating a previously undiscovered 'fissure' for gold and other mineral deposits. Our sources have confirmed that Katie Price was visiting the Chilean capital of Santiago at that time, on a book-signing tour.
Cage-fighter, Alex Reid was understandably shocked at the discovery. 'It scared the s**t out of me', he confessed. 'Just imagine, I'm down there, doing the business and these six guys come running out, shouting in some foreign language. I'm still having nightmares about it'.
The medical profession are amazed at how Jordan's vagina could have accommodated six men for over three years, but that aspect comes as no surprise to Reid.
'You wouldn't believe how vast that woman's fanny is unless you'd been there', he said earlier today.'Katie and I call it her 'Channel Tunnel' as it's just as vast and has had about the same number of people pass through it'.
'You've got to be careful though', he continued. 'I never go down there without a pit-helmet and a compass and I always make sure that my safety-line is securely attached to the foot of the bed and around my waist, just in case I go in off the edge.'
Ex-husband, Peter Andre, reluctantly confirmed Reid's comments.'Oh yes, her fanny's huge', he said. 'Katie was thinking of arranging tours at one point and a film company expressed interest in using her vagina as a film set for a re-make of 'Journey to the Centre of the Earth'.Unfortunately there were too many health and safety issues'.
Andre confessed that he spent many a happy hour deep inside Jordan's fanny. 'I used to go in there to practice my singing', he said. 'It was just like being in the Royal Albert Hall and the acoustics were amazing'.
The six Chilean miners are due to be flown home tomorrow, but have mixed feelings about their rescue.
'We are very glad to be out of there after all this time and to be going home to our families', said one miner with the aid of an interpreter, 'but we are sorry to be leaving behind our Land Rover and eight pit-ponies!'
