Chilean miners are set to become D list celebrities following news that the producers of Big Brother and I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here are planning to take over the rescue and turn it in to a reality TV contest.
"Why there's lurds of oppertoonity to keep up the miners' spirits through lerds of mine-tucker trials and to get the pooblic involved in verting" said Geordie favourites Ant and Dec, through their interpreter Cheryl Cole.
Cole had herself declined the contract to present the show, due to a reluctance to catch any more tropical diseases this year.
Davina McColl was said to be too big round the bum to get through the planned rescue hole and had not been asked to participate.
After tough negotiations with the men it has been agreed that on no account will Jordan join them after the first few days, instead a consignment of other plastic blow-up dolls that can't talk will be put up as prizes for some of the lucky trial winners.
Meanwhile as fundraising efforts step up to help the men the Bee Gees have offered to do a remake of their classic hit "New York Mining Disaster 1941", and are working on an update to the lyrics. When news of this reached the trapped men, their spokesman Mr Jones (57) declined to comment.
