Simon Cowell, Accused Of Altering Contestants Voices On Show, Beaten Up!

Written by Bureau

Monday, 6 September 2010

image for Simon Cowell, Accused Of Altering Contestants Voices On Show, Beaten Up!
That's 'Cowell" Not 'Cowell'!

Simon Cowell's "The X Factor" is once again being accused of altering the voices of some of the contestants.

"They don't sound nearly as good when you hear them in public", stated one former fan of the show. "I used to watch it every week but no more."

This was coming from a young thug who had hidden when the police arrived and got three of his pals off of Cowell who were allowing their feelings to be known with their fists.

"There were two policemen down the street we noticed beforehand but when they saw Cowell, they turned their backs", stated the young man, who finally said his first name was Ian.

That's when another one popped out of a wheelie bin.

"Are they gone yet?"

"This is Mike. Mike you saw those two policemen turn their backs before we jumped old Wise Ass!"

"I saw them. Then some lady told the police to go help out and they said that it looked like the lads didn't need any help beating up Cowell! Ha!"

The guys then strolled down the street after saying they would turn their friends loose in a few days.

This is Tooter Day in London. If I wasn't such a coward myself, I would have pointed out to the boys that if Cowell was using electronically-altered voices on his shows, why wouldn't he bring on someone a little nicer looking than Susan Boyle. But they may like her.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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