Abbey Clancy Says She'll Take Peter Crouch Back If He Promises To Stop Doing His Robot Dance

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Monday, 16 August 2010

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Pretty vulnerable scouse TV personality Abbey Clancy has told friends that she's prepared to give 'sex pest' fiance Peter Crouch a third chance (he had a second chance last week) - providing he stops doing his 'robot dance' in nightclubs.

This latest controversy arose after pictures emerged which appeared to show Crouch off his nut, doing the robot, groping blonde girls' arses, and smoking fags.

Insiders report that the fag smoking really 'pisses Abbey off' but that the real problem arises when the taller than usual Tottenham striker (who is quite nimble on his pins considering he's such a lanky get) starts doing his robot dance.

"He can't help himself," one told us. "He has a few shandies and a packet of fags, and before you know it, he's off doing the robot dance. He loses it. He really does.

"The trouble is, that Crouchy's robot dance does something to the ladies. They get all wobbly when he starts showing off his robot moves, and before he's really aware of what's going on, they're all over him."

Psychologist and womaniser extraordinaire, Professor Lynton O Lynton told us:

"I don't think he does it deliberately, but it is a proven fact that 6'7" men doing robot dance moves on the floor whilst mullered on champers and fagged up to the earholes is a clitoral stimulant. The ladies just can't resist going weak at the knees and damp at the gusset."

Heartbroken Abbey has reportedly told friends that the long lank, robotic dancing, goalscoring striker is deffo on his last friggin' chance. Lar.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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