Robert Pattinson, Tom Sturridge Finally Come To Blows, Loose Tooth

Funny story written by Bureau

Saturday, 7 August 2010

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Sturridge Looking For Damage

Apparently those once old friends have had it up to here with each other and friends had to separate them Wednesday night as a black eye on one and a badly cut lip and loose tooth on the other was all the damage that resulted.

"It looked a lot worse than that", stated a witness who saw a fight going on and several guys separating the two. "I bet they'll look a lot worse by tomorrow. After all that rolling on the street, the other guy had a Pattinson hairdo also."

Pattinson had began pointing his finger at Sturridge (see two earlier reports) and telling him to stay away from Kristen Stewart. Sturridge replied that Pattinson was becoming an ass and had gone out of his head, thinking he owned Kristen.

"I'll see her anytime and anywhere she wants to see me!" returned Sturridge and that was when the fight started.

Friends of Pattinson in New York were trying to calm him down.

A reporter who had left earlier stated that Kristen Stewart was on her way to Bollywood in India and if the two didn't quit fighting that she didn't want to hear from either of them at the present.

Everyone then began to spread out and the last we heard was Pattinson saying he thought he broke his knuckle.

"Your eye is funny looking too", stated the friend.

Perhaps Pattinson is allergic to fists as well as vagina's, as he recently was quoted as saying.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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