A Fight Breaks Out At The San Diego Comic Convention Between Frankenstein Fans and Count Dracula Fans

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

image for A Fight Breaks Out At The San Diego Comic Convention Between Frankenstein Fans and Count Dracula Fans
Batman fans, unlike Frankenstein and Count Dracula fans, hardly ever cause any problems. (Photo courtesy of Clay Aiken).

SAN DIEGO - Police were called to quell a mini-riot that broke out between the fans of Frankenstein and the fans of Count Dracula at the 2010 San Diego Comic Con.

Brenda Valene Chardwater, a spokesperson for the Comic Convention said that it all started when the Frankenstein fans started chanting "Dracula sucks! Dracula sucks!"

She said that all of a sudden about a dozen "Suckies, (Dracula fans) started yelling out "And Frankenstein has no wiener! And Frankenstein has no wiener!"

Chardwater said that she knew right away that things were going to get ugly, because in her 15 years as spokesperson for the San Diego Comic Convention she has seen time after time fights break out when words such as wiener, muffin, lick, Dodgers, and suck are used wantonly.

Brenda Valene said that she got on her Comic Convention walkie-talkie and asked for backup. Within minutes Horatio Fuggitty and Timmy Quicksax showed up with two billy clubs and a taser.

The two billy clubs were quickly taken away by the Frankenstein fans and the taser was taken away by one of the Count Dracula fans, who then proceeded to use it on both Horatio and Timmy.

Chardwater said that she decided to call the San Diego Police Department. They showed up in two minutes and they proceeded to start bashing in the heads of the two out-of-control groups of fans.

Chardwater said that it was hard to tell if the blood on the Count Dracula fans was real or fake since most Count Dracula fans always walk around with fake blood at these types of conventions.

She said she tasted some drops that one of the CD fans had on the crotch of his pants and she confirmed that it was in fact Heinz Ketchup.

After about 55 seconds the melee ended. A total of 13 Frankenstein fans were taken into custody along with 14 Count Dracula fans. A Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs fan, Connie Fishmeister was also taken into custody as well.

An officer for the SDPD said that Connie, who is an avowed lesbian, had bitten one of the Count Dracula fans on her left tit.

Connie denied that she had purposely bitten her left tit. She said that she was merely trying to kiss it, but one of the Frankenstein fans pushed her from behind and the kiss, unfortunately turned into a bite.

In a related story. Ms. Chardwater did report that some of the Batman fans had gotten carried away with their spider webs and accidentally spider webbed, 102-year-old Denver visitor Agatha "Bubbles" McKernshack into her walker. She was quickly 'dewebbed' by two Comic Convention employees and is resting comfortably at San Diego's Hijo De La Sierra Madre Senior Citizens Hospital.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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