Rob Pattinson + Kristen Stewart = Robsten

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Thursday, 15 July 2010

image for Rob Pattinson + Kristen Stewart = Robsten
Is THIS a Robsten?

Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart may have taken a fast track to the A-list category, but now they are really starting to get on my nerves.

Rob and Kristen, or "Robsten," quite possibly achieved superstardom more quickly than any celebrity in the history of the world. One could argue that the same is true of Daniel Radcliffe, but let's face it. That guy's basically a dork. At least, he's a total loser compared to "Robsten."

"Robsten" has likely set a new standard by which megatools will be judged for decades.

"Robsten" must be thanking his/her lucky stars for all the money rolling in, considering the state of the world economy.

As an author, Stephenie Meyer also must feel proud for penning a story so mesmerizing that an entire generation has stopped staring at their hand-held devices long enough to stare blankly at a movie screen for a couple of hours.

Meanwhile, Rob as Edward and Kristen as Bella may be annoying, but "RPattz" and "KStew" as "Robsten" sort of pisses me off. I mean, what the hell is a "Robsten," anyway? That's just stupid! Celebrity monikers have only been getting worse since "Brangelina" stepped on the scene. Who comes up with this crap, anyway? What's next? Biebyrus? Efrudgens? McCalves?

Give me a break!

Related posts:

1. Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner: The Threesome You're Sick of Hearing About
2. Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart - What if Robsten has kids? Do we have to go through this again?
3. Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart out, Justin Bieber-Miley Cyrus in? That's just more of the same crap, you bastards!!
4. Robert Pattinson: More than anything, Kristen Stewart wants to ... Quit twattering RPattz, nobody gives a Rattz ass!
5. Robert Pattinson - Kristen Stewart - Eclipse gets nod for Teen Choices award, meanwhile I'm nodding off

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more