Eclipse Movie Release Heralds The Return Of Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart And Taylor Lautner

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 26 June 2010

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I Write My Eclipse Stories Here. I Just Make 'Em Up As I Go Along.

The release this week of the latest instalment in the Twilight saga, 'Eclipse' means that its youthful acting triumvirate of Pattinson, Stewart, and Lautner look set to take over the media yet again, for some time to come.

Whilst this is undoubtedly great news for their legions of fans, it isn't news likely to be well received in other quarters.

One of the hardest hit sectors is expected to be the satirical website sector, where most humourists slave away, hunched over keyboards, unpaid, churning out topical satirical news.

Veterans of the genre complain that genuine topical satire tends to get buried under an avalanche of meaningless Pattinson/Stewart/Lautner stories, sometimes involving Doctor Who, Daleks, gynaecologists and all manner of nonsense.

The reason for this phenomenon appears to be that all a budding satirist has to do is include the names Pattinson/Stewart/Lautner in a punchy headline and the hits come flooding in, irrespective of the merits or otherwise of the items. Many writers use the device as a kind of fast track method of increasing their standing in the ratings chart.

Skoob News reporter Martin Shuttlecock grimaced when he heard the news. He said:

"It's all right people doing Pattinson and Stewart or Lautner stories providing they have some kind of relevance, but you won't catch Skoob News running headlines like: 'Robert Pattinson Has A Daisy Growing Out Of The End Of His Penis And A Vuvuzela Stuck Up His Arse - Horrified Kristen Stewart And Taylor Lautner Run Away With Some Daleks In A UFO.'

"We just don't do that sort of thing. Well, not often, anyway."

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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