Robert Pattinson Gets The Crap Beat Out Of Him!

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

image for Robert Pattinson Gets The Crap Beat Out Of Him!
Action In Alley Was Over Quickly!

A group of young men spotted the heartbreak of many of their girlfriends on a street in New York City yesterday, made some quick calls and waylaid actor Robert Pattinson after he was pulled into an alley.

"I guess his hair looks a bit messed up at the present time", stated one of the young ruffians while fleeing the scene after several people heard the fight and hurried to the aid of Pattinson, including one police officer.

"I think they have all gotten away", stated officer Hernandez. "I couldn't make any headway until some pedestrians came to help...unusual for New Yorkers."

However, it was later learned that some fans were following Pattinson after spotting him and called for help as soon as the actor was attacked.

Meanwhile, Pattinson who had a black eye and a broken fang was quickly hurried away from the scene.

There were no reports at any nearby hospitals so I guess it is being kept quiet.

"I don't think he was seriously injured", stated another police officer. "Actually, I've had it up to here with the Pattinaon talk from my own two teen girls at home, so I can understand the young men's frustration."

So if you spot Robert Pattinson any time soon, you will probably see a couple of muscled friends along with him.

This is Dan Hillyard.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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