HOLLYWOOD - Appearing on the View and surrounded by quite a gathering of journalistic vultures, Cynthia Nixon sat in the middle of the sofa taking questions left and right from the assorted highly-paid professional 'mouthpieces.'
Whoopi Goldberg asked her if her and her partner of six years, Christine Marinoni, ever plan on tying the knot. Nixon replied that the two have tied a lot of things but the knot is not going to be one.
When pressed as to why not, Nixon sarcastically replied, "Because New York does not recognize gay marriages. But no matter what, I still love my honey's 'man boobs."
Goldberg suggested that her and 'man boobs' take a quick trip over to Massachusetts, Maine, Connecticut, Vermont, Iowa, or New Hampshire because all six states do recognize a marital bond between two same gender individuals.
Joy Behar asked, "Hey how about Arizona?"
Sherri Shepherd started laughing and said, "Girlfriend that state is so effed up that I think the governor has just passed a law outlawing marriages between a man and a woman."
"Gosh! I guess next Governor Jan "The Screwer" Brewer will ban praying except in church." Behar remarked.
Joy then asked, "Arizona, isn't that the place where that strange sheriff Joe "Pinky" Archipelago (Arpaio) makes his prisoners dress up in pink prison clothes, pink flip flops, and pink underwear?"
When told she was right she replied, "Well that just goes to show you why the state is so effed up, you have a sadistic dude with a strange as hell fetish running one of the jails and making his convicts dress up like Elton 'Freakin' John for goodness sakes."
Elisabeth Hasselbeck chimed in and said that they're all mean prisoners and that pink is not necessarily a feminine color. Everyone ignored her.
Whoopi then remarked that it's a damn wonder that Sheriff "Pinky" Arpaio's entire prison population isn't all queer.
Sherri chimed in..."Hey sista ain't cha heard of the dontcha be askin - dontcha be tellin rule?"
Hasselbeck remarked, "Again, pink is not necessarily a feminine color."
[TONS OF SILENCE AND FADE...]
