Simon Cowell In Hospital After Big Boob Attack

Funny story written by Bureau

Thursday, 27 May 2010

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Bertha Makes Sand Lady Look Like Ten Year Old

According to witnesses at a restaurant in New York City last night, Simon Cowell was beaten about the head and shoulders by a big boobed performer and wound up being taken to the hospital for whiplash.

Cowell and his party were near the back at a table enjoying a bit of entertainment while they were eating and talking about talent when, according to witnesses, a woman with huge breasts went past on her way to the restroom.

"We all clearly heard Mr. Cowell saying 'those can't be real...she's a freak' and laughing."

Another stated that "Big Bertha" also overheard Sim's words and when she came out of the bathroom, she took off her top behind Cowell's chair and suddenly used her 84-inch-around bruisers to attack Cowell around the head and shoulders.

"She kept yelling, 'Not real, huh?' and really beat him up good. I'm sure he hurt his neck because his head was jerking hard with each blow."

There has been no word yet this morning about Cowell's condition. I doubt if there will be anytime later unless he has permanent injuries.

Meanwhile, "Big Bertha" is still performing at the club so be careful what you say.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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