READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin, the mother on the cancelled reality show, Jon and Kate Plus 8, and Dancing With The Stars castoff has stated that she is seriously considering suing the reality dancing show.
Gosselin said that the only reason that she was eliminated from last week's show was because of the horrible things that the three DWTS judges said about her to a national viewing audience of over 30 million.
Kate said that the three judges did not have to be so downright mean, cruel, and insensitive. She said that when she arrived home that night, she learned that seven of her eight children started crying uncontrollably when they heard that their mother had been eliminated.
Gosselin asked the babysitter why in the world she had allowed her kids to watch the results show knowing that it was a distinct possibility that she would be getting eliminated.
The babysitter, identified as 16-year-old Sally Zipplecross, stated that she was in the kitchen baking a wedding cake for the eight kids and she just must have lost track of what seven of them were watching on TV.
Sally said that one of the sextuplet boys, Joel Kevin, was in the kitchen helping her stir the 12 eggs that went into the three-tiered wedding cake. She pointed out that sweet, little Joel Kevin, who is kind of on the different side, also helped her clear off the dinner table, wash the dishes, shave her legs, and paint her toenails.
Kate remarked to her dance instructor Tony Dovolani that she did not appreciate the gaytalian judge Bruno Tonioli saying that she was totally graceless and that a burro with three broken legs had more grace.
And she noted that Carrie Ann Inaba saying that she can see now that she has a lot of trouble getting a boyfriend due to her two utterly fat left feet was especially hurtful.
Gosselin said that 102-year-old English fag judge Len Goodman was the cruelest when he said that Kate was such a bad dancer the state of Pennsylvania should consider taking her eight kids away from her and putting them in foster homes.
Tony laughed when he heard Len say that. Kate told him that she did not think that it was the least bit funny. Tony, who by now had literally had his fill of Kate's prima donna antics and diva attitude got all into Kate's face and said, "Kate, to be perfectly honest with you. I do not give a flying friggin eff what the freakin frackin' eff you think, you conceited, egomaniacal, self-centered, frustrated fake blonde bitch."
"Tony are you mad at me again?" The ditsy Kate asked.
In other news. The state of Idaho has announced that they have confiscated three tons of illegal Idaho potatoes that were headed for the Wyoming border.
