Kenny Chesney Finally Admits Why His Marriage To Renee Zellweger Failed

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 12 April 2010

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Kenny Chesney shown performing at an Easter concert at The Willie Nelson Headband Auditorium in Austin, Texas.

CHICAGO - Kenny Chesney appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and for the first time explained why his marriage to actress Renee Zellweger was annulled after only four months.

The country and western super star has had number one hits with songs such as "How Forever Feels In My Blue Jeans," "You Had My Butt At Hello," "I've Got The Bitch Wrapped Around My Crop Rotating Finger," and "She Kissed My Green Tractor And I Kissed Her Pink Playpen."

The 42-year-old singer has recorded songs with George Strait, Tim McGraw, Rascal Flatts, and Mark Cuban.

Kenny first met Renee Zellweger at a benefit concert for the victims of the loco weed epidemic in Arkansas in January of 2005. The two were married in May and ended up having the marriage annulled in September, just four months later.

For five years Kenny kept the reason for the annulment a secret. There was all types of speculation from the fact that perhaps he was gay, to the fact that he did not like blondes, to the belief that Zellweger actually hated country music.

But Kenny finally told Oprah the real reason for having their marriage annulled. Chesney said that Renee hated the fact that Kenny always wore his black cowboy hat. She says he wore it at the dinner table, he wore it while taking a shower, and he even wore it while they were having sex.

Kenny first responded by saying that at least he started taking his boots off while showering and during their 'poking' sessions.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: People from the southern states refer to sexual intercourse as 'poking,' except in Arkansas where they call it 'hiding the salami.']

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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