Ex-EastEnders' Kara Tointon Named Great Britain's Top Underwear Model

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 11 April 2010


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image for Ex-EastEnders' Kara Tointon Named Great Britain's Top Underwear Model
A pair of red knickers that Kara Tointon received from David Frost last Christmas.

LONDON - Kara Tointon was thrilled to announce that she has just been named Great Britain's Top Underwear Model by the highly reputable U.K. magazine Knickers Illustrated.

The 27-year-old Tointon used to appear on the BBC soap opera EastEnders. Kara portrayed Dawn Swann, a Walford WAG who travels to France and ends up posing for explicitly graphic French postcards.

Swann later opens up her own bra shop in Paris which she names La Boutique Soutien-Gorge En Anglais.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I took French when I was in the second grade and if I remember correctly the name of the shop translates into The English Brassiere Shop.]

After Dawn is implicated in the Infamous Tit For Tat Scandal she decides to sell the shop and returns to Albert Square. She soon meets a fish and chips salesman Bernard Fipplefinn and she convinces him to pay for her to have breast enhancement surgery.

Since Fipplefin does not make a whole lot of money, Swann agrees to have her right knocker done first, and then four weeks later she has her left knocker done.

Two months after that Dawn convinces Fipplepfinn to pay for her Adams apple reduction, right elbow tightening, and to have five freckles laserly removed from her G-spot.

Kara Tointon was let go from her role as Dawn Swann in EastEnders when she refused to do a nude scene with the mayor of Albert Square Dooley Appleview.

She would later say that the reason that she refused to do the nude scene was because the actor who portrayed Appleview had a wiener that resembled a Vienna sausage.

When Tointon left EastEnders she went to work as a lingerie model for Michelle Ma Belle by Georgie Porgie. Kara is a C-cup but her modeling photos are all photo shopped and she ends up with a D-cup.

She remarked that winning Great Britain's Top Underwear Model is a fabulous honor. She smiles and says that it is even more exciting than when she had her very first measurable orgasm in an after hours McDonald's parking lot at the age of 21.

To view some pretty sexy photographs of Kara Tointon that were taken after her first breast enhancement surgery log on to www.karatointontitsgalore.lic

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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