Dancing With The Stars: Tony Dovolani Says He Loves Practicing In Kate Gosselin's "Basement"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 22 March 2010

image for Dancing With The Stars: Tony Dovolani Says He Loves Practicing In Kate Gosselin's "Basement"
A photo of Kate's size 11D sized feet. (Photo courtesy of Tony Dovolani.)

WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania - One of the best professional dancers on Dancing With The Stars is Tony Dovolani. And for the upcoming season of DWTS, "Dancing Tony" has been paired with none other than Kate Gosselin, "King Kate" formerly of Jon and Kate Plus Eight.

Tony said that when he first learned that his name had been picked out of the hat to be Mrs. Gosselin's dance instructor he was somewhat apprehensive; seeing as how he has heard that she is prone to revealing very intimate crotch secrets about the men in her life.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Dovolani is referring to the fact that Kate revealed to Larry King, and in essence the country, that Jon's 'pecker' only measures 3 inches. Before that she had said that her high school boyfriend, Waldo McParrotwater's 'gizmo' measured 3½, and Chetty Milkthistle, Jr., one of her junior college boyfriend's 'wiggler' was 3 inches long, and she added - and that's in a state of erection!]

Tony went on to say that he could care less if anyone knows the size of his 'army bazooka,' but he was quick to add that he does not want anything to cloud the competitive nature that he instills in each and everyone of his dancing partners.

Dovolani said that dancing is a full time job and he will not spend even one single minute discussing the statement that Kate will no doubt make once she learns that he is the proud possessor of an 8 inch 'dip stick.'

When asked what he feels will be his biggest challenge in his dancing with Mrs. Gosselin Tony smiled and quickly stated, "It will be trying to get Kate to get over her awe, amazement, and tremendous happiness once she gets to feel 'Tony's Baloney' for the very first time during one of our dance rehearsal moves."

Dovolani said that he is having a ball rehearsing with Kate in the basement of her home which Kate had refurbished to look exactly like a dance rehearsal studio as well as a Santa Monica Beach Tequila Tavern.

Tony was asked about the eight kids. He smiled and said that the youngsters are all upstairs asleep in their beds while he is down in the basement doing the mambo, paso doble, cha cha cha, and ghetto groin grabber with their mommy.

In a related story. Tony has reportedly stated that Kate told him that she does not at present have a boyfriend, but that she has been occasionally dating a very nice inflatable Latin male doll that she purchased through the Internet. Tony smiled and said that Bernardo is not a bad looking 'hombre.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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