Kate Winslett talks about her split (marriage that is)

Funny story written by Proffitt

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

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Kate at a techno den

Kate Winslett has told Scoop why she decided to split from boring hubby Sam. Lovely Kate, the thinking man's totty decided enough was enough when Sam refused to shave off his grey beard!

"I'd had been on at Sam for a while now to get rid of that beard but he just kept saying 'I will - after the Oscars.' So when he didn't shave it off I told him we're finished."

She went on to say, "Sam didn't seem that bothered when I told him. We have simply drifted apart over the years with me getting into hardcore techno and him into chamber music! He kept dragging me to recitals and I was dragging him to rave dens, it all became a drag!"

Kate added, "Let's be honest here Sam looks about 55 and I look 30. People were calling us 'The Douglas's' and I thought at least Michael Douglas is old as f**k where Sam is just 44."

Kate does use the odd four letter word from time to time but she knows that just adds to her sex appeal.

"Besides at the moment I am seriously into sex and Sam isn't. I think I need a younger man to keep up with my demands," she teased us with. It was at this point she slowly but deliberately un-crossed and re-crossed her beautifully shaved legs, revealing to all of us the fact she was bereft of panties!

"I love that Sharon Stone film, she was soooo hot," Kate added.

No wonder Sam has a grey beard trying to keep up with her we all thought.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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