VANCOUVER - The snow skis and ice skates have all been packed. The Chap Sticks have been put away in purses and pockets. And all of the red noses are just about returning to their normal color - off-white, except in the case of the Swedish team which is super off-white.
The bronze, and silver, and gold medals have all been insured by Medals of Omaha and over 100,000 condoms have been tossed into the more than 200 dumpsters scattered throughout the Olympic village complex.
Reports are that a total of 27 of the participants have become engaged to someone from another country. Six of the German Olympians admitted that they went out and got tattoos that read "I Vas In Vancouver 2010."
Danielle Fontainebleau, the assistant manager of the Vancouver Chamber of Commerce was asked which of the thousands of Olympic XXI souvenirs was the number one seller.
She did not miss a beat and replied, "The number one souvenir that more people are taking back with them to faraway places such as Botswana, Portugal, Cambodia, and Bosnia are snowballs."
She pointed out that the snowballs come in cute little commemorative cases that read: An actual snowball from the 2010, XXI Winter Olympics - Vancouver, British Colombia, Canada. The snowballs are affordably priced at $19 each or two for $37.99.
Fontainebleau did add that unfortunately some unscrupulous denizens have been selling counterfeit snowballs which are easily discernable because they are packaged in sandwich bags.
Ms. Fontainebleau stressed for Olympians and Olympic game fans to not purchase this fake snow, which can also be identified due to the fact that although the fake snow looks and feels like real snow, it does not taste like real snow at all.
Ms. Fontainebleau noted that the fake snow has a somewhat unpleasant aftertaste - kind of like what a can of opened sardines that have been left on the kitchen counter for two days would possibly smell like.
To find out more about fake snow as well as fake moustaches, fake Rolex watches, fake boobs, and fake orgasms log on to www.fakeolympicstuffandshit.sux.
