HOLLYWOOD - The Kodak Theater in Hollywood was the scene of lots of joy and lots of tears as the 2010 edition of American Idol presented its famed 'Welcome To Hollywood' show.
Ryan Seacrest introduced the new kid on the block, Ellen DeGeneres who took Paula Abdul's place at the judges table.
Ms. Abdul quit the show after last season when she asked for a one-year contract for $20 million and was offered a one-year contract of ONLY $10 million.
Ellen joked that she loves music and young performers so much that she would have done the show for minimum wage and all the Hostess Twinkies she can eat.
The shows producer, Simon Shindlebocker, 53, overheard her and suggested that they could sit down and renegotiate her contract if she'd like. "Eff you!" The pixie-haired New Orleans native remarked as she tried not to choke on her Hostess Twinkie.
When the judges got down to business they heard and graded a total of 181 performers. When the smoke from all of the singing finally cleared away, there were only 95 AI hopefuls left standing who would go on.
The other teary-eyed 86 were given bus tickets to head on back home to places such as Loco, Oklahoma; Gas, Kansas; Porcupine, South Dakota; and Sandwich, Illinois.
The 86 would be returning back to their jobs as waitresses, secretaries, teachers, and in the case of one particular girl from Dallas the world of the Dominatrixism.
Erica Rhodes, alias The Dallas Dominatrix said that she felt that she was one of the best singers out of the 181.
But she said that the two female judges Kara and Ellen did not like her because they were jealous of her fantastic looking butterbags which she noticed Simon and Randy could not keep their eyes off of.
The "DD" said that she was going to file written complaints and mail them to the director of American Idol Simon Witleywine, 59, as well as to the Better Business Bureau, The American Civil Liberties Union, The U.S. Citizens for Fair Fairness, and the NAACP.
Rhodes was told that she was white so she really could not complain to the NAACP. She smiled and said that she could because she has dated several black individuals in the past, so technically she can use the services of the NAACP.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I looked up the word Dominatrixism in seven different dictionaries and I could not find it. I even looked in 'The Dictionary of Words From The Bewitching World of Salem Witchcraftery' which was published in 1692, and I still could not find it. But I feel totally secure in saying that if Abel wrote it, then it is definitely a real word. So I just decided to sit back and pour me a double shot of Jose Cuervo Tequila or three. I'll be just fine {hic} thank you.]
