HOLLYWOOD - A total of 86 American Idol contestants were sent packing after the Hollywood round.
One of these was 19-year-old Vonore, Tennessee resident Vanessa Wolfe. At her Hollywood performance Randy Jackson told her that she was just too pitchy in parts of the song. Wolfe asked him in what parts and Jackson replied, "The beginning, the middle, and the end."
Vanessa remarked, "So basically da whole song huh?"
"Hey girl, you are definitely college material, hang in there now, ya hear?" Randy commented.
Kara DioGuardi shook her head and told her that it sounded like she had gotten her foot stepped on by one of her father's milk cows. Vanessa told Kara that her daddy doesn't own any milk cows.
"Okay, smarty pants," DioGuardi fired back, "Then it sounded like some damn friggin cow from some damn where in America stepped on your foot okay Elly Mae?"
The new judge Ellen DeGeneres simply asked if Vanessa could make cornbread. When told that she could, Ellen said, "Well there you go, at least you got something that you can fall back on, and this way you'll never starve."
Simon Cowell looked at Ellen and said "And people say that I'm mean."
He looked at Vanessa who had messed up her $7 cotton dress with dozens and dozens of tears and told her that he actually liked her.
Cowell said he liked her a lot cause he said that she reminded him a lot of Kelli Pickler except for the fact that Kelli is prettier, bosomier, and can actually sing.
Vanessa ran off the stage. Ryan asked her what her plans were. She said that she'll hitch a ride with some trucker back to Tennessee and probably end up like the rest of the girls in her family, barefoot, poor, and pregnant.
In a related story. The rumor that Kentucky Kevin Skinner had taken a shine to Vanessa proved to be wrong. Skinner was reached at his home in Kentucky and he said that since winning America's Got Talent he is now more into city girls. He smiles and says that when he gets intimate with city girls they don't pull the hell out of his pecker like country girls tend to do.
