HOLLYWOOD - American Idol Judge Simon Cowell has stated that he will not be grabbing Ellen DeGeneres' thighs underneath the judges table like he did last year when Paula Abdul was sitting next to him.
Simon said that for one thing, he was very close to Paula since the two had gone out on at least four dates. Simon was asked how far he had gotten with Paula.
He backed off from revealing any specific details, but he did say that while the two were being intimate he did hear Paula yell out the words, "Touchdown" and "Homerun" on several occasions.
Cowell also said that Paula was a single woman, whereas Ellen is a married woman. Simon added that he happens to know for a fact that Ellen's wife, Portia de Rossi, is a very jealous wife.
He noted that Portia, who hails from Australia, has on more than one occasion lashed out at women who thought that they could just touch her husband (Ellen) on her medium-sized floaties (niblets) and get away with it.
Cowell said that he is really looking forward to this season. He noted that he has finally convinced Randy to stop throwing down those silly ass gang banger signs that he did at the start of the show all of last year.
Simon said that he has mandated that for every gang sign Randy throws down Jackson will have to donate $10 to the Tiger Woods Legal Defense Fund.
And regarding the other female judge Kara DioGuardi. Simon says that he has convinced her to wear more lower-cut blouses, so that she can show-off her puppies a little more this year.
In weather news. Record amounts of snow continues to fall on America's East Coast. Reports are that so much snow has fallen on the nation's capital that the first kiddoes, Malia and Sasha Obama have started calling the White House, the Snow White House.
