Fairbanks AK: A tall thin older gentleman with long white hair, wearing a blue parka bedecked with rhinestones, carrying a "Teddy Bear" showed up at an environmentalist protest meeting here. He looked vaguely familiar to the assembled throng, which grew silent in his presence.
The protestors were all upset about renewed oil and gas drilling, expansion of the Alaska pipeline and there was no "Peace in the Valley." Their signs read save the Caribou, or save the Polar Bears, or save the Penguins. The unexpected guest was invited to the podium to say a few words.
Some of you may remember me when I disappeared in 1977, as I ran away to Alaska to be left alone, but I never stopped "Loving You." I took my "Hound Dog" and we stayed at the "Heartbreak Hotel" for awhile, where I met a "Hard Headed Woman."
However, in the ensuing 30 years "Too Much" has happened in the Last Frontier that has me "All Shook Up." The Caribou and the Polar Bear don't need saving, as they have become so numerous that my "Blue Suede Shoes" are always covered with animal poop. As for saving the Penguins, even "A Fool Such As I" knows they reside at the South Pole!