Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 23 January 2010

YUMA, Arizona - Meghan McCain speaking to the annual convention of The Young Republican Teens of America (13-15) stated that there are two things that she has recently observed about men.

The first is that men can be watching four different football games on a four split screen divided screen and not miss one single encroachment call, field goal attempt, or cheerleader crotch beaver shot.

Meghan McCain who is one of the nation's top bloggers said that the second thing she has noticed is that men seem to prefer women with big breasts that have been enhanced and/or augmented through surgery than women with big breasts that they got from their mothers by way of the man upstairs (the "Man" way upstairs).

Meghan was asked what made her say that and she replied that she has noticed that just within the past week, columnists and critics have focused on the glorious globes aka bobbers, majonkers, vavooms, twangers, tigbitties, cajooblies, and tata's of well-endowed women whose tits are of the 'store-bought' variety.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: And now that A.R. has brought the subject "Up" no pun intended, well maybe just a tit, I mean tad. The California Journal on Breasticles is recommending that, due to the tremendous amounts of "Re-Do's," females who have received either breast augmentation or breast enhancement within the past two months are being strongly urged to hold on to your receipts.]

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, McCain said that Jessica Simpson, Christina Hendricks, and her each have nice, big, natural boobs that for some reason have to take a back seat, or sit on the backburner, so to speak, to the 'fake racks' of Heidi Montag, Pamela Anderson, or Tara Reid.

Meghan says that it just is not right or left (in the interest of inclusivity). Inclusivity? Yes, it is a quasi-real word from the Ukrainian phrase yumma yimma incluovich which means 'a pairing of two or more female mammaries in the interest of providing sheer and utter happiness to the male species.'

And speaking of boobs. It is being reported by Oprah Winfrey's radio station KBLC that Kanye West and Chris Brown will be out on tour this summer. Their concert tour is tentatively being called, 'The He and Me, We Ain't Be As Bad As People Be Sayin' We Be Fa Shizzle My Nizzle Well-Microphoned Concert Tour.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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