Ann Coulter and Meghan McCain Are Going At It Again!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

image for Ann Coulter and Meghan McCain Are Going At It Again!
Meghan McCain shown demonstrating that unlike Ann Coulter, she does not have any black roots.

PONTIAC, Michigan - Ann Coulter in town addressing the members of The GOP Michigan Muffler Makers Federation at their annual convention said that she is only one percent happy with President Obama.

When asked what the one percent is, the GOPrincess replied that she likes the idea of his occasional White House "Beer Summits."

Coulter said that, being a beer drinker herself, she knows that a lot can get done when people sit down and discuss things over some ice cold brewski's.

She grinned and confessed that some of her most enjoyable dates have been those where beer was involved.

Ann was asked if she had finally patched up the riff she had been having with fellow GOP maven, Meghan McCain.

She rolled her eyes and replied, "Absolutely not. I cannot stand that overweight blonde. She thinks that she is better than me just because her mommy happens to own the biggest Budweiser Beer distributorship in America.

Well guess what little Miss McCain't, I do not drink Budweiser. I drink Dos Equis, Schlitz, or Old Milwaukee."

When Coulter was told that Meghan had recently referred to her as "Horse Face" and "Sea Biscuit" Ann merely laughed. She thought for a moment and stated that she would rather look like a horse than a milk cow.

Ann was told that Meghan does not look anything at all like a milk cow. And the 47-year-old Republican diva remarked, that maybe she doesn't have horns, an udder, or a brand, but she swore that she had heard her moo once or twice.

Coulter was asked if she had read Meghan's first book, "Gee Opie (GOP) - The Mayberry Republicans." She replied that she had and that she wanted to point out some discrepancies in the book. Ann stated that first of all she (Coulter) is 6 foot 3, and not 6 foot 4, as McCain wrote in her book.

She also pointed out that she weighs 84 pounds and not 87 pounds like big old Miss beer sweatpants wrote in her 493 page book, which she pointed out included 217 pages of nothing but photos of her dad, her mom, her mom's seven mansions, the Grand Canyon, and several beer trucks.

Meghan McCain who was attending the grand opening festivities of her mom's latest beer distributorship in Wichita, Kansas was asked if she would ever like to have a debate with Ann Coulter.

The 24-year-old extremely attractive McCain said that she would welcome the opportunity to sit across from that swizzle stick looking bleached out blonde.

She went on to say that Ann Coulter is the only woman in American who actually wants cellulite. When asked why, she replied, "So that the anorexic Trigger-faced bitch can have some semblance of a figure."

Meghan, who makes no bones about her utter dislike for Coulter said that the skinny skank is so damn thin that when she swallows a pill you can actually see it bulging out her stomach.

And so the battle of barbs between two of the GOP's most outspoken blonde females continues.

SIDENOTE: NBC has stated that they are desperately trying to book both Ann Coulter and Meghan McCain to appear on The Jay Leno Show in hopes of doing something to boost the show's sagging viewer numbers which last week were even lower than those of a PBS special on The Roly Poly Bugs of Madagascar.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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