Conan O'Brien Opens Satirical Writing College

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 19 January 2010


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Former Graduate of the College for People Who Can't Accept Reality and Who Don't Write Too Good

Following the announcement of the 40 million dollar separation agreement between the National Broadcasting Company and its wild-haired late night host, Conan O'Brien followed his termination with an announced sponsorship of a satirical writing college in upstate New York.

Centered in Horseheads, NY near the Finger Lakes, the College for People Who Can't Accept Reality and Who Don't Write Too Good will receive a significant chunk of O'Brien's termination package for the development of a new comedy and spoof writing building. O'Brien has offered to teach several of the classes and will help to create two new Bachelor's and Master's programs focused on the art of satirical writing.

"Conan always likes it when somebody grabs a piece of his package", commented Biff Hosenmeister, a former writer for Conan. "This new college program is just the place for budding new and insane writers to polish their craft, or other body parts, whichever is more fun".

Built into each program will be writer's collaborative workshops, and lessons on how to copyright developed content. O'Brien's former writers as well as co-professors from hope to find new talent at the college while they build new satire ideas for television news or situation comedy shows.

"Everything about the program is pretty cool", says Hosenmeister, "Except for the name of the college. CFPWCARAWTG just doesn't fit on a sweatchirt."

Instead, freshman spoof writers adopted a sweatshirt design with a slogan that features the college mascot, a Tufted Titmouse. Emblazoned across the light blue hoodie is a picture of the bird with the phrase, "GO TITS". The freshman class of the new O'Brien wing is off to a good start.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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