The unexplained dissapearance of former Spoof Writer Duncan Whitehead could be a case of kidnap, sources from INTERPOL have announced.
Whitehead, who has offended such celebrities as Paris Hilton, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and most recently Stephen Hawkings may have been abducted by any number of celebrities.
"No one has seen or heard from Whitehead since he left his home in Savannah after Christmas bound for Europe" said INTERPOL spokesman Tatty Mullett. "Initially we suspected he may have faked his death - in an attempt to escape the wrath of some of the high profile celebrities he has offended over the years by his silly little stories that often were not even funny nor made any sense" continued Mullett.
However kidnap or abduction seems more likely.
According to sources Whitehead was last seen talking to a wheelchair bound man with a funny voice whilst lurking behind a nearby tree was a man described as 'scruffy and smelling of BO' with a large sack in his hand. Some are suggesting that the foul smelling scruff could have been Pitt.
"He could be well locked up in Johnny Depp's dungeon" said former colleauge Monkey Woods "or, just as likely, he may have been eaten by roly poly fat arsed DJ Chris Moyles whom Whitehead was fond of calling 'a roly poly fat arsed DJ'" said a concerned Woods.
Paris Hilton has not been ruled out. "He could well be holed up inside Paris - he loves Paris and often stayed at the Hilton - maybe he is there" said another former colleauge, slightly less concerned, Dr Edward Maxwell.
