Written by Skoob1999

Friday, 15 January 2010

image for Sov Defies Vinnie In Corned Beef Wars
Ivana Is In The Diary Room - Talking Bollocks

Tensions surfaced in the Big Brother House when Sov openly defied Vinnie Jones by opening a tin of corned beef, selfishly making herself a big doorstep sandwich which she later stated she didn't really want anyway.

Vinnie Jones was really pissed off, because the tin of corned beef in question had been earmarked for a group meal.

Vinnie then told the rebellious element in the house to effin get on wiv it as he'd had enough.

UK viewers sat riveted to their TV screens as the younger house mates were accused of being immature, egocentric and generally obnoxious.

Viewers then gasped as Katia - who isn't really famous for anything other than being a slapper who puts out for any old Tom Dick or Harry - moved to the sink and donned a pair of Marigolds.

Which she then took off again without actually doing anything. Behavioural Psychologist, Blumenthal Heyerdahl, hired by the Spoof, commented that it appeared strange that Katia appeared intimately familiar with rubber gloves, yet found washing up to be an alien concept. He suggested that she probably used rubber gloves frequently - but not for washing up.

As a food crisis loomed, Vinnie Jones went to self appointed preacher and prophet Stephen Baldwin with five slices of bread and two pilchards and said:

"There you go Bible boy. Make that fucker go round."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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