PONCHATOULA, Louisiana – (Satire News) - After getting lots and lots of complaints from millions of customers, Popeye’s has issued a statement that they are immediately discontinuing their most recent menu addition. Spokesperson Devonna Swilltiggy…
Around lunchtime yesterday, area man Francis Parker stunned his housemates when he made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This wasn't a normal sandwich, however; instead of foregoing the bread heel and selecting two non-heel slices - as any san...
According to a police report, a hot dog street vendor attacked a man on the street without warning but the hot dog salesman has a different story. My date and I were walking hand-in-hand down the street when we saw the hot dog guy across the stree...
MILFORD, Connecticut - Subway has stated that they have always had the taste buds of their customers foremost at hand. Company spokeswoman Tammy Strawhouse recently addressed the matter that had been brought up by a consumer group that some of the...
ASPEN, Colorado - Local residents of the ski resort town of Aspen are as happy as woodpeckers in a kitchen cabinet factory. The word has gotten out that The Big Tex Texaco Gasoline Station is giving customers who fill up their vehicles three marij...
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - The Long John Silver's Corporation is getting ready to introduce what is perhaps its most interesting menu item in its 45 year history. Elmendorf Butterbox, a representative for the fish restaurant chain stated that the Pira...
BOARDMAN, Ohio - Arby's opened their first restaurant back in 1964, and since then they have sold millions and millions of sandwiches. Company Spokesperson Fluffy Tinsinbock recently sat down with the news media to clear up a rumor that apparently...
In what may be the most thoughtful gesture of their 3-year relationship, Jake Harrington plans to leave his girlfriend Mary Rockmore a half-eaten bologna sandwich. Harrington said the thoughtful act, which occurs after the two had a long argumen...
Washington DC: One of the best kept secrets in this politically leaky town is the White House Sandwich Shop. The café located in upscale Georgetown is undergoing an expansion to accommodate the increasing size of the lunchtime crowds of Obama adminis...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, 27 and startlingly ancient looking for his age, Cordon Verde chef extraordinaire, has pronounced his latest experimental sandwich, a roaring success, following three days of trials. Shuttlecock's latest delicacy cons...
A Northern Irish fella named Darren Clarke was celebrating this evening after lumping a little white ball around a field in Sandwich, Kent, and knocking the little white ball down some holes, using a variety of longish sticks. With bits of metal o...
US R&B icon, Rihanna of the red head, (No hair, just a red head - That's enough of that - Ed) was left shaken during a visit to Sandwich on a flying visit to take in a rather soggy British Open Golf Championship. Rihanna, who sang a song about...
It's a New York tradition. Well-known newcomers to the city often have sandwiches named after them at the world-famous Carnegie Deli. So this week, in honor of the rumored introduction of the Apple iPad 2 on Wednesday, the Carnegie has announc...
Judy Dale Willoughby of the Rivergate area in Nashville has filed a suit against Pecker's Fresh Chicken in the Rivergate Mall after biting down on her chicken sandwich and pulling a "tough piece" out and finding that it was a penis. "I was never s...
This week I been undercover. Wearing my trusty mac and suspicious hat, I have wandered in and out of many public places, attempting to witness spontaneous drama in the flesh. It took a while. Nothing occured in Blockbuster, McDonald's, KFC or Poundland. And the usual scuffling grounds of Hollywood Bowl, Pizza Hut and Hair on Broadway proved unsuccessful. I was almost giving up hope, when I...
New Research from the Bread School of Bredbury has shown that people prefer sandwiches with a filling, rather than plain bread. More controversially, it doesn't matter what the filling is, from Corned Beef and Piccalilli to Egg Mayonnaise or Prawn...
The clocks have stopped. The trains aren't running. Facebook has crashed (again). Channel 4 has paused its endless repeats of Friends. A deep, overwhelming silence has overtaken the world. The cause? Mr Wyn E. B. Braster of North Wales has m...
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