Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

image for White Brooklyn Man With 13½ Penis Cannot Get A Job
Jonah Falcon sitting in Central Park reading the want ads.

BROOKLYN - Jonah Falcon sits in his mother's apartment and talks about the war in Iraq, the world champion New York Yankees, The Who performing at this year's Super Bowl half time show, and about his infamous 13½ penis.

Little Joni, as his mom calls him, says that in the past he has worked as a video game reviewer, a man-hole cover repairman, a stop sign maker, and, if you'll pardon the expression, a hot dog vendor in Central Park.

But lately he has not been able to find a job. He said that most of the time when he goes to fill out a job application the clerk usually recognizes him from the HBO documentary he made entitled, You Call That A Wiener - Well Take A Gander At This.

Falcon confesses that the managers flat out tell him that they cannot hire him for fear that if he dates one of their employees he may end up injuring her.

Other job application clerks recognize him from his article and photos that appeared in Rolling Stone Magazine titled, Excuse Me Is This A Rifle, Or Are Am I Just Glad To See Ya.

When asked if he has a girlfriend Falcon gets kind of sad and says that he used to. He then states that his last three girlfriends have all broke up with him because none could afford the ridiculously high premiums on their crotch insurance.

In a related story. Falcon said that he did get a job driving the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile but had to quit after only the first day because he got tired of everyone asking him about his wiener instead of about Oscar's.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Penis

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