Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 4 January 2010

image for Joan Rivers Reveals That Her And Donald Trump Were Lovers
A lock of Donald Trump's windblown hair. (Photo courtesy of Joan Rivers).

MANHATTAN - Comedienne Joan Rivers, who is still considered to be one of the top female comediennes in America, was recently interviewed by a reporter for Snow On The Roof - Fire In The Furnace Magazine.

The 76-year-old Rivers, who some of her dearest and closest friends say is really 81, revealed that ten years ago when she was 51, her and Donald Trump began an affair.

Joan explained that it was a torrid affair which lasted for nine years. She said that the affair ended a year ago because she pleaded with him to please do something about his stupid looking hairdo. He refused. Rivers cussed him out using every curse word in the book and Trump dumped her.

Rivers explained that it was very embarrassing to walk into a McDonald's or a Taco Bell and have people point at the Donald's hair and laugh behind his back.

When Joan was asked how her and Trump managed to keep their nine year relationship a secret she replied that it was easy; money.

She was asked to explain and she confessed that Trumpy Humpy, as he asked her to call him in private, signed a notarized statement that would pay her $10,000 a month to keep their relationship a secret.

Rivers was asked if Mr. Trump was as good in bed as he has stated he is. Joan paused for a moment and answered, "Well let me put it like this. He was a whole lot better than Jay Leno, but no where near as good as David Letterman."

SIDENOTE: Joan stated that she did not really want to say too much about Donald Trump because she plans to write a book on their nine year relationship. Rivers said that the books tentative title is My Life With The Donald - Trumped, Humped, Rumped, and Dumped.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Joan Rivers

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