December 20, 2009--Mistress number 2500 has been disclosed as the infamous Boy Pal Woody Woodpecker, cartoon icon of the 1950s and star of the "The Woody Woodpecker Show", which debuted in 1957.
Says Woody, "I can tell you right now, Tiger's Woody has pecked a lot of holes. Good God, I was born on November 25th, 1940, and I still haven't pecked as many holes as Tiger has. Although my pecker isn't what is used to be, I think I can still hold my own any against any pecker in the business, including Tiger's Woody."
He added, "I'm the only one that knew what was going in the PGA Tour. Tiger's squeaky clean image? Forget it. That's something that Team Tiger dreamed up to scam the public and get endorsements. Whenever Tiger tired of the same old whores, I mean holes, he'd stop by and give me a peck on the pecker. It was divine. I've never experienced such a steel shaft, but golfers do have the best ones. They've played with shafts all their lives, so they're quite experienced."
Woody ended the interview with this final quip: "If a Tiger could peck wood, how much wood would a pecker peck if that pecker was Tiger's Wood? At least 500, maybe 1,000 since he got married in 2004."
