NEW YORK CITY - Adam Lambert was to have appeared on The Muppet's Christmas Show and sing "White Christmas" and "Frosty The Snowman" but his appearance was cancelled when producers heard that Adam was planning on altering the lyrics a little bit.
An inside source said that Lambert was going to sing "I'm dreaming of a white trash Christmas," and then on his second song he was going to substitute the line, "Frosty the Ho Man."
The shows executive producer Stanley Featherside decided that it was best not to take a chance on having Lambert sing it his way and end up traumatizing who knows how many millions of kids in the United States, Canada, and Alaska.
Featherside remarked that he has been in contact with Clay Aiken who jumped at the chance to take Lambert's place.
Aiken has recently criticized Adam Lambert as being way too exotically gay.
Lambert has replied by saying that Aiken is such a little sissyboy that he even lisps when he sneezes.
Clay reportedly told Mr. Featherside that he did not have to worry about him altering the words because he is nothing like Adam Lambert except for the fact that they both wear makeup, nail polish, and like boys.
Aiken went on to say that he is a dependable gay guy who will not all of a sudden start doing things like grabbing crotches, poking girls in the groin, and kissing and making out with keyboard players.
Featherside, who is a very conservative Mormon was appalled. Lambert kisses and makes out with keyboard players?
Featherside did ask Aiken if he would be wearing very much makeup. Aiken informed him that maybe just a little lipstick, some eye-liner, eye-shadow, and some Chanel #5 behind his ears.
Mr. Stanley, as his boyfriend calls him, heaved a sigh of relief.
In other news. South Viet Nam has just announced the opening of its very first state owned pedicure shop. The shop is located in Da Nang and is named Toes 'R' Us.