Tonight, we were contacted by failed chicken frier Elmer Faint Jr who told us that he couldn't for the life of him explain why he kept failing in various activities, unless it was because he has a tendency to deep fry guitars, as opposed to deep frying chicken.
"I don't for the life of me know or understand why I do it," Faint Jr told us from his shop in Fratton Road, Portsmouth. "I go out and buy guitars from second hand shops, but then when customers order fried chicken, I smash up the guitars and deep fry them instead. It's a mystery to me."
Shop assistant Pompey Lil told us:
"He's a fackin nightmare. We get people cammin in ere for froid chicken roight? An' the fruit loop serves em up froid bleedin guitar bits. Yer can't eat that can yer? Oi mean, it's mayde o' bleedin' wood an' strings innit? Not very tasty Oi wouldn'a thort."
Customer, Belgrade Hungary Mississippi Moonlight, told us:
"It is a bit shoit. Oi mean, the salad and the frois is okay, but oi ordered chicken oi did. Not fackin guitar bits. The wood is fackin tough an' them strings is shoit. Oi'd much prefer chicken."
Elmer Faint Jr just cupped his head in his hands and wept.
More fried guitar related malarkey as we get it.
