X-Factor Sends Jedward Homeward!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 23 November 2009

image for X-Factor Sends Jedward Homeward!
The Camilla Bowles Auditorium in Pimlico, England, where Jedward has been booked to perform a Christmas Eve concert.

LONDON - X-Factor Time finally ran out for The Irish Twins, aka The Dublin Duo, aka The High-Haired Harlequins.

So the highly popular singing show will now move along without the stylish singing antics of John and Edward Grimes, who many said reminded them of two little Elton John's, but only not in a gay way.

Simon Cowell remarked that at first he did not like the two Irish 18-year-olds, but then he said that they kind of grew on him like a hangnail or more accurately like a tooth cavity.

Dannii Minogue said that she will miss the two lads even though due to their Ghostbusters performance she still wakes up in the middle of the night screaming that the ghosts are going to get her.

Louis Walsh said that the two lads from Ireland will go on to be successful. He then added not as successful as The Beatles, The Kinks, or Susan Boyle, but certainly more successful than The Crumpets of Chatham, Scarlett Steeplefopp, The Trafalgar Triplets, or even Basil "Golden Tonsils" Effingshire.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I attended a concert in Ipswich a few years ago at The English Leather Arena and Scarlett Steeplefopp was on the bill along with The Crumpets of Chatham and I must say that I have never heard so much booing in all my life. The Ipswich police were called and Steeplefopp and the Crumpets were actually arrested for their horrible performance. Their managers blamed it on allergies.]

Cheryl remarked that Jedward hung around a lot longer than she thought that they would which is a testament to the huge fan base that they have amassed.

She went on to say that she understands that the Dublin Duo has just been named as The Most Popular Performing Twins In The History of European Musical Acts.

Louis with a puzzled look on his face asked even more popular than the big titted Ruysdaal Twins from Holland?

And Cheryl replied, "Yes, even more popular than the, to use your description, the big tittled Ruysdaal Twins from Holland."

Simon leaned forward and told Louis that back when he was in his early 20s he had actually dated both Zwindy and Zoe.

Louis asked how they were.

Cowell replied that it there singing voices had been half as fantastic as their bosoms they would probably have ended up in the Musical Hall of Fame.

Dannii turned to Simon and replied that, that was a rather sexist remark.

Simon stared at her and replied, using a mixed cliche, "Dannii, if the shoe, or in this case the bra, fits then wear it."

Louis yelled out "Good one Simon old chap."

Cheryl looked at Louis and told him to effen grow up.

And on that note the show ended. And Jedward quietly rode off into the sunset with their heads held high and their hairdo's held even higher.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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