450-Pound Kirstie Falls Into Lady's Pool Monday Night

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

image for 450-Pound Kirstie Falls Into Lady's Pool Monday Night
Neighbor's Tractor Near Fat Farm

A Spotsville, North Carolina woman who heard a giant splash in her backyard discovered a 450-pound Kirstie Alley had fallen into her swimming pool in the dark.

WACKO-TV reports that the big actress fell into Maudie Buchanan's covered pool on Monday night. The Buchanan resident says that Ms. Alley was rumored to be staying at a near-by fat farm.

Buchanan was startled by a "giant whoooosh bloob!" and took a flashlight out to investigate. She then immediately called 911 after spotting the big actress splashing around in a panic.

It took ten men from the county rescue team to free Ms. Alley using two big slings and a crane.

Rescue squad spokesman, Lotts Weaker, believes that Ms Alley got out of her room trying to break into a refrigerator and just kept walking until she fell in the covered pool.

"She very well may have did it in her sleep."

Kirstie is apparently doing well. Ms. Buchanan hopes her homeowner's insurance has a policy that covers fat people falling into your pool at night as the pool was "heavily damaged".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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