Kirstie Alley Hated Taking Gym Showers

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 17 August 2009

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"Fat? Kirstie Alley's Not Fat! She's About My Size.""

As a hefty young lady in school gym classes, Kirstie Alley told a friend recently that she hated taking showers afterward.

According to the friend, that could easily be one of the causes of Kirstie's constant battle with weight problems much of her life.

"Kirstie's a beautiful lady and that thing at her school has been a nightmare to her for all these years. She would ask if she could just wash up but no, she had to shower and so she did and along came the fat jokes."

"People today are used to this, but back then it was a lot worse. I had my own problems with acne but so did a lot of others, so I didn't get singled out."

"That lady in gym was rotten. Of course she told her it was for her own good so that it would inspire her to lose weight. She would say things like, 'Gym is from the Greek word gumnos, which means naked. Actually you should be doing your gym exercises in the nude so be glad it's only in the shower.' That was a big help, I'm sure."

A recent article in a well-known 'zine says that the yoyo dieting is taking it's toll on Kirstie and could even lead to an early death.

"I think if I were Kirstie and if that gym teacher is still around, I'd go sit on her and fart in her face", stated the longtime friend.

"Of course, the size of Kirstie's ass at the present, it'd probably kill her. Omigosh, now I'm doing it!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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