Scientists across the UK are investigating massive seismic shifts which occurred some 80 minutes into tonight's X Factor.
The earth tremors seemed to emanate from North London, and were accompanied by a pained droning scream.
Dr Felch McRimmer of the North London University Mud Study Unit told the Cycle tonight " The tremors measured 6 on the Richter scale, they were accompanied by a screeching, drilling noise like something spinning at incredibly high speed, they stoppped shortly after foetid gel-c*nts John and Edward had finished singing We Will Rock You on tonight's X Factor."
Unconfirmed reports that Sir Freddie Mercury was spinning in his grave are to be investigated by Most Haunted's Derek Acorah in a histrionic seance to be held in in Dagenham Town Hall on Sunday night.
