Toronto, ON - Miss Susan Boyle - the Scottish virgin songbird from Britain's Got Talent - ate Mr Big while watching Sex and the City on her TV. She later developed a severe tummy ache after eating the enormous size candy bar and called 911 to be taken to the hospital.
'How many Mr Bigs did you eat?' - asked the ambulance attendant. 'I lost count after 5' - admitted Susan. 'Can you take me to the hospital anyway so everyone thinks I have the swine flu? The newspapers would go mad if they found out I ate that many Mr Bigs.'
Susan was taken by air ambulance to the hospital where she was treated and later discharged with a bottle of Pepto Bismo. She confessed to a nurse at the hospital that she panicked and actually thought she had the swine flu. 'This is the first time Mr Big made me poof and squirt' - the shocked 49 year old spinster cried. 'Calm down Miss Susan. Do you need more Xanax?'
Susan is back in her home town of Blackburn which she doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon. Her brother Gerry is bringing her healthier foods to eat so she will go back to work at the studio to record more CDs. 'The money is rolling in from her first CD but it's not enough to sell my newest invention in America - Guitar Haggis. She has to make another 2 or 10 CDs for me to break even. I'm counting on her American fans to make me filthy rich.'
Her publicist has informed us that Susan is feeling much better. She was last seen dressed as Samantha - staggering around Blackburn after downing a dozen Manhattans while singing 'I Love New York'.
