In a stunning press conference today Simon Cowell announced that he is quitting American Idol this year.
In the press conference Mr. Cowell was asked, "what made you quit the show?" His answer was simple, "I finally watched my compilation the other day and it was well, like watching a cat scratch his claws on a chalkboard. I mean, who in their right mind would ever want to watch such a pompass prick make fun of good people like this. It was awful. I couldn't believe that I thought I had talent as a judge. An arrogant prick yes,... That I have talent at, but a judge? what was I thinking."
The announcement came hot on the heels of Kara Diogardi's Playboy cover announcement. She was later quoted as saying "I'm glad he's gone, he added nothing but insults to an otherwise fair and balanced show. By the way Fox News and I are teaming up to make a new show called "Who wants to be a no name talent star on TV. It just makes sense I mean look at the judges on American Idol, what would have happened to us if we hadn't been on American Idol."